1 week ago
On Friday night, I went to a dinner party and 10 min in, I was in a ball on the bathroom floor writhing in pain. I am no baby about pain…in fact, all this week I had a fever and never took meds or a day off from the gym or a minute off from work, even with a crazy travel schedule and some very long nights. Anyone else like this?!
But this was something different. This was the worst pain I’ve ever been in. I texted my boyfriend (from the bathroom floor) and told him I had to leave. We endured the awkwardness of excusing ourselves before the waiter even asked us for our drink order and headed straight to the ER (another thing I’d normally never do). The whole car ride, I was questioning myself: am I really in that much pain? Is this overkill? What if it’s just some bloating? I felt so guilty and unsure of myself and what I was dealing with.
Turns out, there’s some crazy stomach bug going around that my doc said he’s seeing 5-6 cases PER SHIFT of people with the same unbearable pain. And when he said that, I took a sigh of relief. I felt like, if other people were complaining about this same pain that caused me to double over at a party, then my pain was real. .
For some reason, I needed confirmation to validate my feelings TO MYSELF. How messed up is that?? I couldn’t even trust my own experience. .
Yesterday, I laid on the couch, took a bath, cuddled my pup, let B do the chores around the house, and answered 0 emails (ok, that’s a lie, I answered like 2 or 3, but still). It felt super uncomfortable to just listen to my body and what I needed, but it’s something I want to practice and get better at. I’m always telling my body to do sh*t, but need to remember, it’s a two way street.