7 hours ago
Slowly my walls are coming down, and I’m sharing more bits and pieces of my journey. Of what got me here.
I’ve always hated talking about my dads journey, because I don’t think it’s how he should be remembered. But at the same time, it was years of our life. It was apart of our story together. Whether it be the good, the bad or the ugly. I want to remember every memory with him.
My dad was diagnosed back in May of 2014 with an easily treatable case of cancer. Squamish cell carcinoma... if any of you know cancers. My aunt, an oncology nurse, told him, “if you’re going to get cancer, that is the one you want. Easy, treatable, great odds.” Boy was she wrong. My dad proved to be a medical anomaly. He was given amazing odds at the beginning... but at every turn we seemed to take the wrong turn. It came back every time. Worse than the last. It came back 4+ times in under 4 years.
It was a grueling, stressful, scary, emotional 4 years. But no one had it harder than him.
As much as cancer drove a knife into the heart of our family, and tried time and time again to tear us apart... it didn’t.
In the weirdest way, I say cancer saved his life, saved our family.
My dad was the sole provider for us. A role he wanted so desperately to take on, and did extraordinarily well. He gave us a beautiful and full life.
He worked so hard, his schedule was so busy. He worked 5 days a week in the office but 7 days a week including home. He juggled many roles, many responsibilities, and did it so effortlessly. But he made himself stressed, beyond belief. He had to miss special days and family moments. Work started to consume him.
Until he was diagnosed. He needed to take a step back and this forced him to. To take care of himself. To put himself first for once. To let us help him, to let him depend on us instead of the other way around for once.
It strengthened us. It gave us new roles. We saw things from new points of view.
Cancer did ruin or physical family. But I will forever acknowledge the glue it laid between our emotional family.