4 days ago
Okay, okay. I know you suggested I eat a cookie, my dearest fan (read: internet bully), but I was feeling pancakes, so I did just that because I do what I want. But you know me so well, so that shouldn’t surprise you one bit.
You‘ve alleged that I perpetuate poor body image issues in “bitchy stay-at-home mommies” (note the proper use of hyphens in this context, by the way 😉). If you’ve misconstrued my absolute, unwavering passions for amazing food and celebrating what the human body is capable of being and doing, I can only surmise that’s because you’re projecting some very deep-seated issues that have absolutely nothing to do with me and 100% to do with how you’ve allowed to LET yourself feel well into your adult life. I’m sorry if that’s the case, but I’m even sorrier you’re to trying to make it my problem.
I see you over there. Sitting behind your screen like a fucking coward. And in between lamenting about the challenges of your ho-hum, lackluster life and writing hateful emails to me, you’re pushing that over-priced snake oil you sell to unassuming victims who just want to feel better about themselves. I don’t follow you anymore, so if you’ve moved on to selling some other form of garbage people don’t need, I do apologize for assuming you’re selling the same old 💩.
So, anyway, these pancakes were fucking delicious. I’d have invited you over to partake, but you’re not really my people. And lord knows I don’t share my macros (a topic you hate to hear about because basic matters of science scare you). Alas, no invite for you.
BUT, let me know if you’d like me to text you the recipe. Pretty sure I still have your digits. Or, I can just send it to the anonymous email address from which you’ve been bullying me. Just let me know how I can be of service.😘 #internetbullies #tryme #cantrainonmyparade #unfuckyourself #findyourhappy #getoffmyfuckinglawn #wateryourfuckinglawn #fixyourdamnself #illbeoverhereeatingpancakes