5 hours ago
Wow, 2 years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar and slapped on medication. The experience is something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. One of the side effects was that I couldn’t keep still - which meant I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even sit in a coffee shop and hold a conversation. The only thing that brought me any kind of calm was by fighting fire with fire - movement! I ran and did yoga. I went from a personal best of 5 miles which had taken me weeks to get to, to 10 miles in one night.
So I did a portrait series on the unique movements that bring other people their personal sense of calm.
Technically I was supposed to be on medication for the rest of my life. I took it in the garden and burnt it. We all have highs and lows, mine were just extreme, but I don think that warrants being on mind altering chemicals of which no-one actually knows what they do. So what today means is that I’ve actually been medication free for 2 years. I don’t medicate, I meditate. And that experience guided me towards profound realisations in myself of why I was in fact experiencing these mood swings. If one minute you hate everything and want to die and the next you’re in love with everyone and everything, repeatedly, there’s a reason for that. Depression is extreme discomfort with your reality. Which means in that moment, the reason why you’re depressed - and the very solution to your suffering, is instantaneously born. Have a chat with yourself. Meditation pauses your vibration. You’ll be surprised at the simplicity of it all and how much you really do know. Then you’ll be grateful for the thing that lead you there - the depression, and in turn, not only the vitality and love it brings you to, but the calm.
Oh and PS. There’s no such thing as bipolar - it’s just a completely ordinary and natural human response to trauma. Trauma alters your mind, which alters your brain, which alters the regulation of the chemicals in your body. So does mindfulness.