11 months ago
God gave me life, a womb to be fruitful. A purpose to continue giving life. Finally claiming my own life. Every day, every month, every year, I fought internal battles w/ self. Overthinking, belittling & demonizing myself but I felt so God-like within. I could do anything imaginable except save people who didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to save everything around me.
The children being abused & neglected around me. The children who grew to be adults who were still hurting from their parents unwarranted sacrifices & purposeful mistakes. I wanted to save them all but I couldn’t & it enraged me. A rage grew inside that I never knew existed. I knew I didn’t like this me. I knew I wasn’t this me before this relationship nor did I want to become this me forever. The sane me was slowly disappearing & the vain me appeared & took complete charge, so I thought. I capitalized on the misery that surrounded me & it wasn’t until the 3rd strike of borderline losing my own children to the state, I finally awoke.
Every year I got older I didn’t want this life for me or them. The promises of change no longer deceived me. The temporary change became awareness. The sorries became a bandage over a wound that wouldn’t heal. At 28, June 27th, 2 days shy of my 29th birthday I decided enough was enough & I JUST WANT TO LIVE!
I’m 29! My golden year. This is my new year. My year of rebirth. My year of self realization. My year of reincarnation. My year of greatness. My year of loving myself. My year of endless opportunities & possibilities. My year of being one with self. My year of purpose. My forever. I can only save me. I love me. I choose me. #God #Isurrender #Iamavailable #change #HELP #HelloEternalLovingPresence #domesticviolence #7yearsaslave #mindbodysoul #Idontblameyou #Iforgiveyou #thetruthsetsyoufree #mystoryisyetuntold #livingmylifecauseitsgolden #IAMFREE #freedom #thistooshallpass