1 hour ago
"iM nOt liKe oThEr giRls"
A little counselor story. Part of having a counselor is being able to bond as people to become more comfortable with sharing. I was the one that reached out for help so I was more comfortable with oversharing than I'd be otherwise. I understand he has to remain professional but it really does get awkward when I make a funny joke about my rape trauma in the middle of my vent and he doesnt laugh, and just continues his very sympathetic and encouraging smile. I'd definitely feel more comfortable if he was a bit more casual so I've been trying to ask for his personal opinion on things even though he's not supposed to really tell me what to do.
Once, I recall I was telling him about my personal family problems. It was a little difficult because I think familial issues are one of the hardest things to share, since it can be almost embarrassing to admit. It's definitely a strange thing to expect everyone's home situation to be happy and domestic so I dont understand where the stigma came from. Anyway, so I don't go into specifics, there was a period of time where my family didn't really speak to each other at all, and we only really ever see each other at home during dinner time. Of course, this really bothered me, and despite being really low-energy and dealing with things in my head myself, I felt like I was the only person who could make a difference. I would try and initiate conversations during dinner that would invoke a difference in a opinion between my parents, which would get them bickering about who's right. This was a good thing. "I realized the influence I had over the vibe in my own house, simply because nobody else wanted to step up," I told my counselor. Whenever I was upset, that mood would spread to everyone pretty quickly since I'm bad at hiding it.