2 weeks ago
You may have noticed I’ve been absent. Almost an entire month has passed since my last post. Two questions I’ve heard a lot lately — why haven’t you been posting? Is everything okay?
The truth is, this job is hard. And not nearly enough people talk about it. It’s completely draining at times, and it’s difficult to justify taking time off for yourself because you feel you’re missing out on amazing opportunities and potential work.
Everyone tells you to grow on this platform you “need” to be posting every single day. Being a freelance influencer has an expiration date at some point, so you better take advantage of it while you can. I have no idea how long this job will last, so of course its hard to hit the brakes even when your mental and physical health depend on it.
I also fear judgement for being depressed or having anxiety when my life is so seemingly perfect. Dealing with mountains of insecurities along with running a business that is still so new to me, I have struggles every day. I run my business entirely on my own. I have no team. No assistants, no managers. I write all my emails, scout all my locations, book all my accommodations. Style and creative direct all my shoots. Edit all my content and write all my captions. Brainstorm and research new ways to bring value to this platform and get better engagement. I. Do. It. All. And I’m exhausted. I think so far in 2019 I’ve taken less than 5 days off from work. My weekdays are always spent editing, emailing, planning. Then weekends are spent traveling and shooting on location. Yikes! That’s a lot, yeah?
What I’ve learned the very hard way, is that I need to set more boundaries with my work, and this almost-month-long hiatus was my first step. I’m way too hard on myself, and even though I practice it, I struggle daily with self love — but here’s something very valuable I’ve learned: listen to your body and your mind. If you need to take some time off, love and respect yourself enough to do that. You are worth it, and it’s okay to struggle.
Also: To the handful of people who have reached out, I sincerely appreciate you. Thank you. I’m sending you all the virtual hugs. 🤗