5 minutes ago
I’ve noticed recently in my conversations with others that the topic, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously, on perfectionism has been popping up. Whether it’s directed at the need to be, feel, or look “perfect” or directed at friends, SO’s, coworkers, or even perceiving unrealistic expectations of perfection from others. While it’s great and important to have goals, certain expectations, etc., expecting something, someone, someplace, or yourself to be perfect is putting yourself on the fast-track route to unhappiness.
Perfectionism is often a result of a childhood trauma that was experienced (e.g. blaming oneself for parents divorce, feeling dismissed or unrecognized, unrealistic expectations and pressures from parents own insecurities surrounding perfectionism). It’s a response that is built at a young age in order to protect themselves from painful emotions. As we grow into adults, these behaviors strengthen, linking the connection between the painful emotions and the tasks placed on oneself to reach a sense of perfectionism and worthiness, which only numbs these emotional wounds in the end.
The thing with perfectionist behaviors, is that it only temporarily provides relief from painful emotions. If we do not address the root cause or the emotions that accompany them, we risk becoming more lost and deeper into these patterns.
So how do we address our perfectionist tendencies? Tomorrow I’ll be sharing another post on reducing perfectionism and what it entails. Stay tuned!