5 minutes ago
Teaching self-belief and resilience is difficult. You can't tell someone to be resilient or believe in themselves, because essentially, the whole point is that the belief needs to come from inside them.
I do believe however that we can create environments that allow for the cultivation of resilience and self belief. Environments that are supportive, encouraging and nurturing. Not nurturing in the sense of molly-coddling, or wrapping in cotton wool, but in the sense that even when you are taking a risk, even if it turns out to be a mistake, there are still people in your corner who will help you up, dust you off, and continue to cheer you on.
People who understand success is not a 100% win rate, but just constant forward motion towards your goals. Goals about where you'd like to go, but more importantly, goals that take you closer and closer to the person you want to be.
The truth is, sometimes we have to borrow someone else's belief in us.
When you've had a few knocks, your own capacity for clear eyed reflection can be damaged, and someone else, keeping an eye on you, caring about you and understanding what you are trying to achieve can give you the nod and let you know, you are on track, you are doing well, keep moving forward. You are ok to take those next few steps back into the ring.
Once you are back in the ring, your head clears and you get on with the job, each time building your self belief, resilience and forward momentum towards your goals.
I want to thank everyone who has ever dusted me off and sent me back in. Every nod, wink, smile, back pat, kind word, hug, message and moment of encouragement.
For children, we should create environments where this is the norm. They need to learn that it's ok to be committed to a process and lose along the way. They need to have people looking out for them, believing in them, and supporting them towards shaping their own goals. Sure, as adults resilient people with strong self-belief don't necessarily need these moments all the time, but when you do, they are a god-send and make doing difficult work a little bit easier.
Shout out to all the believers. Change is not possible without you.