4 minutes ago
Over 4 years ago I got out of the hospital having been in the 30% who survived pulmonary thromboses. I had been ill for years, the invisible kind. The kind that no one believes. I had to push my body in order to stand, walk, laugh, smile, and the ever present push for enough rest. I had to defend myself repeatedly to everyone around me. I looked fine. I looked more than fine. One day I was slurring my words and had no idea where I was. This was 10 years prior to the blood clots manifesting. I was vomiting relentlessly for about 8 years, exhausted, in extreme pain, always weak and dizzy with fluctuating blood pressure and heart rate. The fatigue was and is relentless. The list goes on. But I learned and adapted in order to cope. I laughed a lot, pushed real hard, and had the most joyous of years as well. And I tried to stay silent. Because we are not supposed to be ill, or discuss it, I learned. I had some pain in my knee one day. I always had knee problems so I assumed my knee was acting up. The next day, the pain was much worse and spreading. But it would get a little better if I was not standing, so I tried not to walk around. At this point, I was suspicious. I knew I already had blood pooling issues in my legs and the thought of a potential blood clot was starting to form in my mind. I was trying to wish it away but by day 3, I could feel it travel up my thigh and I knew I had to get to the hospital. My entire left leg from ankle to groin was fully clotted and no blood could travel. I wouldn’t know for 2 more days that I had also developed 2 pulmonary thromboses. There was nothing they could do but give me the blood thinning medications and wait. The nurses were very kind and positive and told me not to worry about anything at all. But 70% of people do not survive a pulmonary thrombosis.