26 minutes ago
i messed up. •
i feel like ive only been negative these past few days. i was planning on writing this huge motivation paragraph today, but things ended badly, again. •
every day. every frickin day something bad happens. today i messed up. my mom and i started having an argument. she does stuff that literally kill me. triggering stuff and ugh i don’t know. anyways, things got heated and i did something i shouldn’t have done. i like pinched her? like wtf. i regret it yes, but then she like grabbed my face. things were not really physical, just heated. but then, she said: i’d prefer if you were dead. and it hit me. so let’s just say that i can’t really be writing motivating stuff right now. she then started threatening me saying she’s going to call my school principal to tell her to send someone to check on my eating... like wtf!! why? she just wants to make me mad and it drives me crazy. •
my appointment with the social worker got randomly cancelled 2 hours before my appointment which destabilized me because like it messed up my day’s plan. tomorrow i have this huge french exam. 4 hours and 45 minutes. CRAZY. how can i focus for that long?? i really hope my mom doesn’t call my principal. i hate when i pass as sick to strangers...
had those 2 small pitas with thyme, hummus and a few veggies, strawberry cheesecake frickin muffin cause i want to gain weight to show people i don’t need them anymore, sweet lime, protein bar, yogourt and this tiny sugar cone.