15 minutes ago
I turned 25 today, and I find myself thinking, more than ever, about who I am and what I want my life to look like.
This picture makes me think back to when I was a kid. Back then, all I wanted to do was create, explore, play, and let my mind wander.
If you asked me what I wanted to be, before other people told me what I should be, I would’ve said: Artist. But I was told to pursue something practical, so I buried that desire.
20 years later, and nothing has changed. Except, I’m no longer willing or able to hide who I am. The past couple years I’ve been trying to pursue both: a realistic career as a Software Developer and a side career as an Artist. The second I got home from work, I would spend the remaining 6 hours of the day working on my photography or my 3D renders.
But I now realize that this just isn’t sustainable. It took a massive toll on me, my mental well-being, my social life, and my relationships.
There’s simply not enough of me to do everything, and I’m not able to go half-hearted towards multiple pursuits. So I have to choose between a safe career and my passions, and I choose art.
So what’s next? Well, I graduate with a second degree in Computer Science this January. After that, I’m going all in. I’ll focus entirely on creating art and increasing my revenue streams. I’ll make art so fucking good that somebody will have to pay me for it. I’ll take commissions; I’ll make a Patreon. Maybe I could be an Art Director; Id even be happy being an environmental artist or 3D designer.
And if it doesn’t work out, well, I’ll know that I tried.